Quilting friends, I bet you’ve read Lisa Boyer’s “That Dorky Homemade Look: Quilting Lessons from a Parallel Universe” before, but this is the first time I’ve seen it. Or remember seeing it. She shares 9 principles to making a dorky (as she calls it) quilt. I’m especially fond of 2 and 6. But 9 is good too….okay, I confess, they all work for me. I hope it brings a smile……and reminds us although our perfect show quilts are nice, seeing someone we love wrapped in our quilts is really why we do it.
Fed up with feeling like you can’t meet the standards of the Quilt Police? Do you want to quilt for comfort and pleasure and not to win some high-falutin’ quilting contest? Weary of worrying about what others will think of your color choice or your pieced points? Or your applique stitches? …
That Dorky Homemade Look is the quilting companion you’ve been wishing for. Lisa Boyer, a popular columnist for Quilting today magazine, gives you permission to quilt because you love it. She clears your path of all those merciless judgments pronounced by the Quilting Queens. She invites you to make quilts that are full of life.
This funny book offers these nine principles for the 20 million quilters in America.
1) Pretty fabric is not acceptable. Go right back to the quilt shop and exchange it for something you feel sorry for.
2) Realize that patterns and templates are only someone’s opinion and should be loosely translated. Personally, I’ve never thought much of a person who could only make a triangle with three sides.
3) When choosing a color plan for your quilt, keep in mind that the colors will fade after a hundred years or so. This being the case, you will need to start with really bright colors.
4) You should plan on cutting off about half your triangle or star points. Any more than that is showing off.
5) If you are doing appliqué, remember that bigger is dorkier. Flowers should be huge. Animals should possess really big eyes.
6) Throw away your seam ripper and repeat after me: “Oops. Oh, no one will notice.”
7) Plan on running out of border fabric when you are three-quarters of the way finished. Complete the remaining border with something else you have a lot of, preferably in an unrelated color family.
8) You should be able to quilt equally well in all directions. I had to really work on this one. It was difficult to make my forward stitching look as bad as my backward stitching, but closing my eyes helped.
9) When you have put your last stitch in the binding, you are still only half finished. Your quilt must now undergo a thorough conditioning. Give it to someone you love dearly-to drag around the house, wrap up in, spill something on, and wash and dry until it is properly lumpy.
BRQG member and blog contributor